We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
nutella sex= disaster
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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