I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
