hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
