White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
