I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
