why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
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