I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
