hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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