Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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