champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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