she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
