babies were throwing up all over the place
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
