like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize