its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
