Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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