It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
