I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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