Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
