SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
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dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
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That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
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