You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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