I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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