You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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