What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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