Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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