Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
