Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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