I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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