I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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