I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
