He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
