If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
