I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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