I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
