That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
