yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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