Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
