Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
