he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
