his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
