i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
