Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize