Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
