I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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