margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
