There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
