If i come over, it means nothing
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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