I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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