Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
