my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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