i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
