Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize