If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
