HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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