If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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