There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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