super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
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He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.