PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
