I faked an abortion last night.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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