did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
