I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
