if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
