She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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