but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
