do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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