i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
