i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
