3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
