this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
