Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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