GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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