I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
