Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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