Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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